How To Make Your Partner Feel Loved By Understanding Their Love Language
Photo cred: primermagazine.com
“Nakupenda!”
You have no clue what I just said, right?
It means “I love you” in Swahili, a language spoken in eastern Africa.
That’s the problem with languages. We can say a lot of things, but if the other doesn’t understand, you lose information in translation. The words fall on deaf ears.
And it’s not just words.
My mum often gives me small gifts as a sign of her love, but while I appreciate the gesture and know where it’s coming from, it doesn’t make me feel as loved as some of the other ways she expresses it.
We speak different love languages.
It’s a term coined by marriage counselor, speaker, and author Dr. Gary Chapman, author of “The 5 Love Languages.”
If you don’t speak the same language, you can do naked triple backflips to show your partner you love them – they still won’t feel it.
But if you do, it will help you connect with your partner, make them feel the love you give, create more intimacy in the long run, and can help avoid conflict and resentment.
Here’s your crash course to the 5 love languages:
Seduce Their Ears With Words of Affirmation
Science says humans developed spoken language between 150,000 and 200,000 years ago.
It’s our most-used way of communication, so it’s no surprise that words are a love language.
My grandma was huge on this, telling me over and over how much I meant to her. But it’s not just about saying, “I love you.”
People who speak this love language respond well to any sort of verbal appreciation. They thrive on kind, encouraging, and vulnerable words.
Give genuine compliments
Write them a heartfelt note
Express gratitude and appreciation for things big and little
Tell them how much they mean to you and why
Whatever you do, be sincere – empty or generically broad words will hurt them just as much as genuine ones make them feel loved.
Photo cred: primermagazine.com
Make Them Feel Your Love With Acts of Service
For some people, actions speak louder than words.
You can tell them about your love countless times, but do something for them and it hits harder than a million sentences combined. I once had an ex-girlfriend who melted like butter in a pan every time I made her food. Good thing I like to cook.
People who speak this language feel loved when you put in effort.
Help with chores
Make them breakfast
Take something off their plate they don’t enjoy doing
But again, it needs to be genuine – if they sense you only do it because you think you have to, or because they should appreciate it, it will backfire like a broken bazooka.