Can’t we all just get along?
In my line of work, I see all kinds of things…people celebrating (sometimes a little too much), people loving (sometimes making us cry), people misbehaving (sometimes shockingly so) and people sharing (sometimes more than I expect). But in the end, I am there to listen, understand and create the best day for you. I work with some clients for over a year and with the pandemic I am going on 2+ years with some! I really get to know them, and in earning their trust, they tell me things, show me who they are and we become friends.
Sounds cliché, but I become part of the family and it is a role I cherish more than anything. But despite each family being different, one thing is universal: Every family has drama. There are all different kinds of drama to varying degrees for reasons both logical and insane. Everyone—and I mean every client—pre-apologizes for something someone will do either during the planning process or at the event itself. It comes up about 2-3 meetings into planning, just once everyone is really comfortable with each other. “Have I mentioned…”
Photo creds: IVASHstudio (AdobeStock)
When people in a family disagree or something happens, it can affect the whole family and everything they do from that moment forward. The issues run deep and often span decades in their festering. Many issues are often very emotional, deeply personal and have the potential to ruin a perfect event. My first line of attack is to understand how the client feels about the situation and what they are afraid will happen. Then the critical part is determining how I can avoid anything happening at all. Do I sit folks far away from each other? Do I ban someone from talking or interacting with the client? Is it something to be addressed before the day? To be clear, I am not here to fix the drama, just to make sure it does not play a part during the festivities. It is not something to be ignored but rather thought through in order to avoid tensions getting high. My priority is the client and their happiness, so I am willing to be the bad guy to ensure they stay happy. As we all know, it is not easy for people to let the drama go, even if just for that one day. Folks are not built that way and families are complex.
The logical next question you likely have is “ Has anything ever happened?” I won’t tell you about the Mother of the Bride who we had to have a restraining order on to ensure she didn’t come to the wedding. Or the sober uncle who we had to monitor at the bar, or the plus one of a cousin whose dance floor antics were a spectacle. There definitely was never a bridesmaid/sister who refused to listen to what the bride wanted her to wear and showed up in a doozy of a dress. And then there are the ones who openly criticize all aspects of the party or disagree with how the client has decided to run the event. Those are my favorite because I was likely forewarned so I like to kill them with kindness. It is tough for someone to be upset or mean when you are smiling at them.
Drama comes in all shapes and sizes and addressing it head on will surely alleviate any surprises. I throw important milestone events that inherently are attached to a family’s history and likely tied to deep emotions and expectations. That being said, hopefully for just this one day, that drama can be set aside so everyone can play nice in the sandbox. If you can't, you'll sadly be missing out on the best party ever!
